Description: Coping with Difficult People by Robert M. Bramson Describes various types of character disorders, explains why people develop these behavior patterns, and tells how to understand and deal with problem people. FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description Bosses, friends, family members, theyve madeyour life hell -- until now! Based on fourteen yearsof research and observation, Dr. Robert Bramsonsproven-effective techniques are guaranteed to helpyou right the balance and take charge of yourlife. Learn how to-Stand up to anyone --without fighting.Blunt a snipersattack.Get a clam to talk.Cut off aSherman tank at the pass.Managebulldozers.Get stallers off the dime.Move a complainer into a problem-solvingmode.Learn the six basic steps that allow you tocope with just about anyone. Reclaim the powerthe rightfully belongs to you in any relationship! Author Biography Robert Bramson, PhD, is an internationally known consultant and author. He is a leading authority on the prevention and management of difficult and nonproductive behavior, and on methods for obtaining optimal performance from executives. A member of the American Psychological Association, the Authors Guild, and Certified Consultants International, his work has been featured in newspapers and magazines nationwide, notably The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Time. Excerpt from Book Chapter 1 INTRODUCTION This is a book about impossible people and how to cope with them. If your life is free from hostile customers and co-workers, indecisive vacillating bosses, overagreeable (but do-nothing) subordinates or any of those others who deserve to be called Difficult People, read no further. Consider yourself extraordinarily lucky and move on to pleasanter fare. If, however, these constant headaches have intruded, read on, for the purpose of this book is to show you how to identify, understand, and cope with the Difficult People who come into your life. It is directed primarily at those who must work with others to accomplish common tasks, but the methods described here are applicable in many different settings. These methods have worked successfully for salespeople, customer-relations staff, engineers and scientists, bus drivers, teachers, psychiatry residents, probation, parole, and police officers, nurses, volunteers, high school students, and, of course, supervisors, managers and executives in both public and profit-making organizations. Here are two of these Difficult People as seen by their victims. Frank, a dynamic assistant division chief in an aircraft manufacturing firm, was at his wits end. This was the third opportunity he had missed to start a new project because George, his boss, through his indecisiveness, let it slip away. George had a reputation in the division for not being able to make important decisions. Frank was finding out why the hard way. Frank liked George and respected his engineering abilities; that was partly what made their working relationship so exasperating. George could listen well, and he seemed to accept all of Franks arguments. Then Frank would leave the office feeling great, only to wait for the memo from George that never was written. Frank felt he had tried everything: pushing his boss to come to a decision, leaving him alone for several weeks, cajoling him, and arguing the selling points of the new project all over again. No matter what tactics he tried, he could not pry a response from George. Frank liked the firm and thought that he had a good chance for advancement, but the prospect of having to put up with Georges indecisiveness indefinitely was depressing and frustrating. Art, Ill be honest with you. Ive given up on Seth. Im just going to cover my ass, lay low, and do my best to get rid of him." Nate was talking to Art, the vice-president of operations for Tetley Electronics, about his division head. Art was beginning to realize that no one in the design division of the company could stand Seth. Nate was the seventh employee in a month to complain about him. And it wasnt just the troublemakers and mediocre people who were complaining, either. Seth appeared to be making life in the division unpleasant for the competent and even the most easy-going. "He scolds the whole staff when one person is late for a meeting," Nate continued. "He bites your head off whenever you ask for help. He screams insults when he loses his temper, no matter who else is around. He wont listen when you try to explain anything. Hes just impossible!" George and Seth are what I call "Difficult People." We encounter people like them all the time. They are the hostile customers or co-workers, the indecisive, vacillating bosses, and the over-agreeable subordinates of the world who are constant headaches to work with. Although their numbers are small, their impact is large. They are responsible for absenteeism, significant losses in productivity, and lost customers or clients. They frustrate and demoralize those unlucky enough to have to work with them, and they are difficult to understand. Worst of all, they appear immune to all the usual methods of communication and persuasion designed to convince them or help them to change their ways. Of course, we all can be hostile or over-agreeable or indecisive from time to time and be a drag on our associates, friends, and families. In this sense we are all, at times, "difficult." But theres an important difference between people like George and Seth and the rest of us. While each of us may occasionally thwart or annoy or confuse one or the other of our fellow creatures, a Difficult Persons troublesome behavior is habitual and affects most of the people with whom he comes in contact. Difficult People are seen as problems by most of the people around them, not just those who are incompetent, overly sensitive, or weak. The techniques for coping with the Difficult People whose descriptions make up the greater part of this book have been tried out and tested by many people who have found that they benefited in a number of ways by learning some techniques to apply in situations that formerly had left them fuming, yelling, or speechless. As a result they felt less angry and helpless in their encounters with the Difficult People in their lives, and, perhaps most significantly, they found that they were able to accomplish more, whether their Difficult People were bosses, peers, subordinates, clients, or customers. HOW THE TECHNIQUES WERE DEVELOPED For thirty years, I have worked in or with a variety of public and private organizations in positions ranging from blue-collar craftsman to manager. These experiences have left me with absolutely no doubt that there are Difficult People. When I then studied how people behave and learn at work, I searched for ways of understanding how they came to be that way. As a management consultant, I discovered that they could be coped with effectively. For fourteen years now, my associates and I have observed, questioned, and listened as executives and staff members working in more than two hundred diverse organizations told us about the most troublesome people in their working lives. Our primary objective in this investigation was to increase our own ability to help our clients work more effectively with or minimize discord caused by their own problem people. In the early stages of this investigation, we verified that there were indeed similarities in difficult behavior. Over a four-year period we asked several hundred men and women to talk about the most Difficult People in their lives. We found that the same kinds of behavior patterns were identified over and over again, some considerably more than others. Later our attention turned to what could be done about the behavior. These findings, subsequently refined and elaborated upon, form the basis for a part of my present consulting program and the substance of this book. Patterns of Difficult Behavior The behavior patterns that seem to be the most disruptive or frustrating are characterized by the following types. Hostile-Aggressives: These are the people who, like Seth, try to bully and overwhelm by bombarding others, making cutting remarks, or throwing tantrums when things dont go the way they are certain things should. Complainers: Complainers are individuals who gripe incessantly but who never try to do anything about what they complain about, either because they feel powerless to do so or because they refuse to bear the responsibility. Silent and Unresponsives: These are the people who respond to every question you might have, every plea for help you make, with a yep, a no, or a grunt. Super-Agreeables: Often very personable, funny, and outgoing individuals, Super-Agreeables are always very reasonable, sincere, and supportive in your presence but dont produce what they say they will, or act contrary to the way they have led you to expect. Negativists: When a project is proposed, the Negativists are bound to object with "It wont work" or "Its impossible." All too often they effectively deflate any optimism you might have. Know-It-All Experts: These are those "superior" people who believe, and want you to recognize, that they know everything there is to know about anything worth knowing. Theyre condescending, imposing (if they really do know what theyre talking about), or pompous (if they dont), and they will likely make you feel like an idiot Indecisives: Those who stall major decisions until the decision is made for them (like George), those who cant let go of anything until it is perfect--which means never. Although Complainers dont always complain, and Indecisives sometimes do make decisions, there are common patterns in the behavior of Difficult People that can be identified and described. As you will see, finding and labeling these patterns helps set the stage for taking effective action. The Nature of Coping While identifying Difficult People in work settings was useful, we came to an even more fascinating realization during our observations. In many of the work groups observed, there were one or two individuals who could deal reasonably well with the same Seths and Georges who had stumped their colleagues. Those who coped well with each type of Difficult Person used similar methods that could be identified and learned. What did these "copers" do? What did they avoid doing? Most importantly, how might the methods they used be communicated to others? The answers to these questions make up the core of this book. What, precisely, then, is "coping"? According to the standard definitions, coping means "to contend on equal terms," exactly what one needs to do with Difficult People. Individuals behave in a difficult manner because they have learned that doing so keeps others off balance and incapable of effective action. Whether brow-beating others into acquiescence or avoi Details ISBN0440202019 Author Robert M. Bramson Short Title COPING W/DIFFICULT PEOPLE Language English ISBN-10 0440202019 ISBN-13 9780440202011 Media Book Imprint Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group Place of Publication New York Country of Publication United States Residence Greeley Hill, CA, US Pages 240 Qualifications PhD. DOI 10.1604/9780440202011 AU Release Date 1988-09-01 NZ Release Date 1988-09-01 US Release Date 1988-09-01 UK Release Date 1988-09-01 Subtitle The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers in Their Lives at Home and at Work Publisher Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group Inc Year 1988 Format Paperback Publication Date 1988-09-01 DEWEY 658.3001 Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:2616576;
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Book Title: Coping with Difficult People: The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers in Their Lives at Home and at Work
Item Height: 175mm
Item Width: 107mm
Author: Robert M. Bramson
Format: Paperback
Language: English
Topic: Coping with Illness
Publisher: Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group Inc
Publication Year: 1988
Item Weight: 147g
Number of Pages: 240 Pages
